Absolutely true story: At a game last year, my girlfriend told me that she had twisted her ankle jumping up and down after a goal. I turned to her and said, 'Your ankle is a long way from your heart, candyass.'
Friday Afternoon Pre-Game Song: Chemical Halo by Chemlab. Ah, the sweet, sophisticated art of industrial rock. Chemlab is perhaps best remembered from their band poster, which is seen in numerous scenes of the movie 12 Monkeys, which is to say, remembered by me and a few Terry Gilliam film snobs.
Probably true story: Chemlab opened up for Nine Inch Nails on one of NIN's tours. While on tour, lead singer Jared Louche was so depressed that Trent Reznor put him on 24-hour suicide watch. That begs the obvious question, how poor does your outlook on life have to be before Trent Reznor is saying to you, 'Dude, cheer up, things aren't so bad."
Games I'd Want to See If I Had Unlimited Funds: North Dakota at Denver. This like the third time I've picked the Sioux for this. Which begs another obvious question: How sad is my outlook on life that even in my wildest fantasies where I'm insanely rich, I'm spending a bunch of time with North Dakotans?
Controversial Play That a WCHA Official Will Probably Screw-Up: I probably shouldn't have gone out to CCHA country last weekend because it provided a cruel tease of what things could be. A Minnesota forward interfered with a forechecker last weekend and was actually called for a penalty.
Anyway, if Derek Shepherd is officiating your game this weekend, CSTV's Elliot Olshansky has a handy list of insults to hurl his way, based on the Grey's Anatomy character, Dr. Derek Shepherd.
TOP FIVE THINGS I'D LIKE TO HEAR WCHA FANS YELL AT DEREK SHEPHERDCliche Arena Song of the Week:
5. Come on Shepherd, you must be McDreaming!
4. [chanted] Meeeeeeeeeredith! Meeeeeeeeeredith!
3. Hey Shepherd, did you give yourself a lobotomy or something?
2. Come on, Shepherd, it's not brain surgery!
And the number one thing I'd like to hear WCHA fans yell at Derek Shepherd...
1. Hey Shepherd, we're not Meredith Grey. Stop screwing us!
Hava Nagila. I guess not many college rinks play this, but it's one of the four songs in heavy rotation at Joe Louis Arena, which always seemed kind of strange to me.
Picks to Click
Last week: Delicious
Forward: Mick Marlin Berge, Minnesota State
Defenseman: Chad Langlais, Michigan
Goalie: Alex Kangas, Minnesota
Pre/Post-Game Meal of the Week: Wendy's Minnesota Wild Bacon Cheeseburger. I prefer my sports team food endorsements to come from the world of baseball, where it's a tad more believable. For example, the Cecil Fielder candy bar, or Minnesota Twins ice cream(which I can imagine Carlos Silva eating out of a spare batting helmet). But there's no way I can imagine a Wild player actually eating one of these things unless they somehow trade for Tyler Arnason. If you're brave enough, however, 25 cents from each burger purchased goes to Minnesota Hockey.
Arena Food of the Week: Hot dogs. Is it just me or does every arena have one stand that is pretty good, and one stand where the hot dogs taste like the bottom of your shoe?
Funny Joke that Somebody Else Wrote: In honor of my triumphant return to Mankato this weekend, I give you one of my all-time favorite lines:
"Mankato? That sounds like a gay vegetable." --Rainn Wilson.
Predictions For You Compulsive Gambling-Types That Have to Bet
Gambletron 2000's Pick of the Week: Friday night- Michigan Tech 437 Minnesota 0
Smooth Jimmy Apollo's 52% Lock of the Week: Saturday night- Notre Dame 3 Nebraska-Omaha 2
The George Costanza Special(A prediction that is the exact opposite of every instinct and inclination I have): Michigan State sweeps Lake Superior