I'm not really a huge NFL fan, but I do always enjoy reading Big Daddy Drew's NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo every week. So I figured I'd steal the format for my own weekly college hockey preview.
Thursday Night Pre-Weekend Movie: Bloodsport. Greatest fighting movie ever. Bolo Yeung totally should have won an Oscar for his portrayal of Chong Li. He's easily the greatest villain in any movie ever. This movie will both pump you up for a hockey game, and make you want to kick somebody in the face. Both could come in handy over the weekend.
Friday Afternoon Pre-Game Song: "Maria" by Rage Against the Machine. As far as experiments go, I'd put "Chris Cornell with RATM" right up there with "Tuskegee". I like to remember the good old days before Rage broke my heart.
Game I'd Want to See If I Had Unlimited Funds: Denver at Notre Dame. I strongly believe at least one of these two teams will be in the Frozen Four this year.
Controversial Play that a WCHA Official Will Probably Screw Up: I'm going to have to go with some sort of a goal-crease violation. Picking "weak checking-from-behind call" seems way too obvious.
Picks to Click:
Forward-Jeff LoVecchio, Western Michigan
Defense-Matt Stephenson, St. Cloud
Goalie-Jeff Lerg, Michigan State
Cliche Arena Song of the Week: Pinball Wizard. I think it's federal law that every pep band must play this song at least once per game.
Pre/Post-Game Meal of the Week: Runza sandwich, Omaha, Nebraska. Usually I'd say stuffing beef into something before stuffing it into myself is just a wasted step, but apparently the bread is pretty good.
Ryan Stoa-Minnesota-Out with knee injury
Jimmy Kilpatrick-Colorado College-Out with shoulder injury
Josh Engel-Wisconsin-Out with shoulder injury
Jason Wiley-Minnesota State-Out with undisclosed injury
Jake Wilkens-Michigan Tech-Out with undisclosed injury
Brock Bradford-Boston College-Out with arm injury
Brett Motherwell-Boston College-Suspended
Brian O'Hanley-Boston College-Suspended
Rhett Rakhshani-Denver-Will play after suffering a concussion two weeks ago
Funny Joke That Somebody Else Wrote: "I'm in a weird situation because I like rainbows, but I'm not gay. So I wear a rainbow on my shirt, but under it, I have to write 'not gay'. But I'm not against gay people, so under that, I have to write 'but supportive'. I just think it's weird that one group took refracted light. That's pretty greedy, gays. --Demetri Martin
Predictions For You Compulsive Gambling-Types That Have to Bet
Gambletron 2000's Pick of the Week: Saturday Night- Colorado College 347 Minnesota 0
Smooth Jimmy Apollo's 52% Lock of the Week: Friday night- Wisconsin 3 Robert Morris 1
The George Costanza Special(A prediction that is the exact opposite of every instinct and inclination I have): Minnesota-Duluth sweeps St. Cloud