Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Why Can't This Happen in College Hockey?

(Slooooooooow news day filler. FYI)

Earlier this week, we were treated to a delightful story about two Iowa football players stealing a credit card and making tons of illegal purchases, as well as one of the funnier headlines I've seen in a while.

The key to any good news story though is the informative follow-up story. That came courtesy of The Hawkeye Compulsion, who found out that frequent Facebookers really should have seen this coming.

(Side Story 1: Despite his t-shirt's claim of "Life's a Hustle in the D," I'd like to point out that I made two trips down one of the more scenic portions of Michigan Avenue in Detroit while I was home in Michigan a couple weeks ago, and I saw very little hustle out of the citizens of said area.)

I'll ignore obvious questions like, "Why steal and wave around a couple hundred bucks when, at least in Douglas' case, he was a couple years from making at least 100 times that much in the NFL?" and "Who looks at Adam "Pacman" Jones and says 'Yeah, that is a wise career path'"?

(Side Story 2: I implored Seattle Mariners outfielder Adam Jones to "make it rain" with a batting practice ball last night. I was mostly ignored.)

That brings us to college hockey. I can't help but feel that college hockey is lagging behind in these types of shenanigans. Sure, there have been moments; those UNO players in the casino, the BC guys getting busted for credit card fraud, Brandon Bochenski trying to print his own money. But for the most part, when it comes to scandals and Facebook embarassment, it's the same rote stuff. Jeff Frazee sipping Long Islands at Blarney's, Jonathan Toews poor form on the beer bong, yadda, yadda, yadda. Been there, done that.

That's why I'm calling for college hockey to start raising the bar a little bit. Most of the stars in college hockey have been drafted and are just a couple months away from signing that big contract. It's a perfect opportunity to get a little loose with the cash in the stupidest of possible fashions. Or I'm sure we'd all love it if a picture popped up on Facebook of a guy wearing a shirt that says, "Life's a Hustle in the E(dina)" I don't think it's too much to ask.

I don't think I'm asking too much here. It's a long offseason, and we need to be entertained.

12 comments:

siouxnami said...

I heard Don Lucia is running a dog fighting ring...

Marc Foster said...

Two words: Jake Obermeyer...

Anonymous said...

This is priceless...Thank you for providing me some morning entertainment! Awesome.

devilsrawesome said...

Funnier thing about the Obermeyer story (though I am not sure if Obermeyer was the one tackled at home) is that the bat boy played rugby for a club team in college: at UND. :)

Gotta love that.

Anonymous said...

That's because thuggish gangsters don't play hockey and the one that did, Jeremy Jackson, got kicked off the team very early. That a boy Mason!!

zooomx said...

College Hockey has it's hoodlums, but there are a few reasons we don't hear about it.
1) College Hockey is not high profile and there are far less reporters "digging" for dirt.
2) "Coach" at most schools has complete control over the program and a "good old boy" relationship with the reporters who are generally big-time hockey fans.
3) The players police themselves and keep the crazier antics behind closed doors. They are also generally from suburban conservative families and have been taught to keep the dirty laundry hidden by their culture growing up. There is still not the street cred phenomenon in the burbs.

However, I feel College Hockey is one "Duke Lacross" moment from losing the veil on it's off-ice underworld.

Anonymous said...

Zoomx,

1)Blarney's!!!!!, now that's reallllly digging for dirt, but I see your point. You didn't hear too much about the Bochenski incident nationally, but you did hear a lot about the tOSU??? football guy who did pretty much the same thing. Also the Mike Scott ramming would have made the USA Today front page sport section if it was a U. of Texas football player.

2)Makes no sense, you're telling me reporters aren't college football fans. Duh... This ain't the 1970's, reporters will put whatever they want because it will sell.

3)Well duh...... crazier antics will only be found out if the police were involved. What do you think-some player is gonna call some reporter and tell him he just tipped over a broke a ceramic life-size cow.

Anonymous said...

I don't know about the E(dina), but life is a hustle "fo-sho" in the B(emidji). Look for T-Shirts next year to stop poppin' while the lil things are stoppin'.

Anonymous said...

chris, do you think you could put an article together about what team lines in the wcha could be(or maybe top lines only). i would like to hear your opinion on that for the wcha.

Anonymous said...

I'd rather hockey(and the players) stay on the high road and limit media coverage to what happens on the ice. We really don't need the other garbage.

Anonymous said...

I'd say this story had Duke lacrosse potential, except 1) it's just ACHA and 2) since the girl was puking, any roofies she might have been slipped wouldn't have gotten into her system.

The "we’re all hockey players and that’s what we do to bond as a team" quote is classic. This is why you keep your players AWAY from the media.

Anonymous said...

Oh no! They could be required to take a class on alcohol and write a paper about it!

I'm shuddering in fear!

With that kind of penalty looming over underage collegiate drinkers from the University end, I don't understand why anyone drinks (If I could roll my eyes via text you'd be seeing it now).

Maybe they all should be suspended and their club games forfeited so they can have more time to "bond."